I learned years ago that to keep things in it's most simple, pure form was always the best. It keeps us honest and straight and well, there just isn't much room for drama or irrational thoughts in the life of this hot, single mom. So although I have been living by that rule for a long time there are always instances where I find myself straying away from the least complicated path. Every time I sort of take myself aside and say, "Kelly, come on, relax, why are you making this complicated?" Eventually I find my way back to the middle, and fortunately it doesn't take too long.
So, for the first simple decision...the bad Karma, ex cardigan...that sucker is getting burned! Yep, I am waiting on the first chilly night and it's going into the woodstove. Done. I'm not repurposing the yarn, or having it sitting around waiting for me to finish when I know that I have absolutely zero desire to do so. I am moving on to something else.
Secondly, this is why I always knit with pure fibers. It's simple, natural and you just can't go wrong with 100%. Off point, but hey, this is primarily intended to be a knitting blog.
Next is my personal life. I am jumping into the dating scene. Yes, that's right, I'm dating and it has been awesome. Funny enough, my boys are cool with it and somehow come up with the most odd questions. I think I posted on Facebook one question Perrin had asked me. He said, "Mom, if you find out that a boyfriend is keeping something from you, will you break up with him?" I asked, "like what Perrin?" "Oh you know" he said, "like you found out he was a hobo or something..." What tha?
Upon entering the dating scene, my mom and sister both recommended I read: "He's Just Not That Into You." If you are a single lady or know a single one, you have to read this book or pass it on. Talk about keeping dating simple! It's awesome. So it was written by Greg Behrendt, one of the writers for Sex In The City. He tells you straight up what to do in specific situations with guys that normally, most women would be freaking out over or making excuses and false realities about. He is basically telling us that we are far more valuable than we give ourselves credit for and that we should never settle. And if any of the following happens to you, he's just not that into you! So here are some of my favorite excerpts and again, if you're a single female, it is worth the read:
When a guy is into you, he let's you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you, and when it's time to have sex, he's more than overjoyed to oblige. I don't care if he's startting his new job as the president of the United States the next morning at 0400. He's coming up!
Men are not complicated, although we'd like you to think we are, as in "Things are really crazy right now. I've just got a ton of shit going on." We are driven by sex, although we'd like to pretend otherwise: "What? no, I was totally listening." And sadly (and most embarassingly), we would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, "You're not the one."
If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will, or making sure you know that he's dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him, his action are screaming truth: He's just not that into you.
If we want you, we will find you. If you don't think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you.
Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit...We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.
I'm about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: The word "busy" is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction.
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
Men, just like women, want to feel emotionally protected when a relationship starts to become serious. One way they do that is by laying claim to it. They actually want to say "I'm your boyfriend" or "I'd like to be your boyfriend" or "If you ever break up with that other guy who's not your boyfriend, I'd like to be your boyfriend." A man who's really into you is going to want you all to himself. And why wouldn't he, hot stuff?
In my book, a guy who can wait two weeks to see you, is just not that into you.
I'm a dude. If I like you, I kiss you. And then I think about what you look like in and out of your underwear. I'm a guy. that's how it works. No ifs, no ands, and clearly no buts.
If a guy is happy lying around in bed with you eating cookies and watching old movies and he's not gay, then he's just not that into you.
On break-ups: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person. If he's not trying to romance your socks off with dates, flowers, and poetry, it should only be because he's too engrossed with his couples counseling workbooks and is prioritizing getting back on the right track.
Does he make it clear in his actions every day that your happiness is important to him? If the answer is no, cut him loose and go find a man with a higher "good count."
When two people are connecting, they hunger for information about each other, a sliver of what life is like when you're not together, a glimpse into their past, a peek into their mind, all in hopes of getting under their skin.
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.
2. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. (And here is the real kicker...pay attention) Be aware of this and realize that he is okay with disappointing you.
3. "Busy" is another word for "asshole." "Asshole" is another word for the guy you are dating.
4. Better than nothing is not good enough for you.
5. Your lost self-esteem may take longer to find than a new boyfriend, so prioritize accordingly.
6. There is no excuse for cheating. Let me say it again. There is no excuse for cheating. Now you say it. There is no excuse for cheating.
7. Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck!)
8. A cheater only cheats himself, because he doesn't get to be with you.
9. If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you etc. when he is inebriated, it ain't love - it's sport.
10. Bad boys are actually bad.
11. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.
12. Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.
13. Re: breakups. Cut him off. Let him miss you.
14. There's a guy out there who is going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
15. Re: sudden disappearances of said boyfriend or date... He might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he's just not that into you. No answer is your answer. Don't give him the chance to reject you again. Let his mother yell at him, you're too busy, and there's no mystery, he's gone and he wasn't good enough for you.
16. If the person you "love" (notice the snotty quotation marks around that) cannot freely spend his days thinking about you and being with you, it's not real love.
17. You are not easily forgettable. Let him find you when he's ready.
18. Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
19. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them too.)
20. There is never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger.
21. Freaks should remain in the circus, not in your apartment.
22. You already have one asshole, you don't need another.
23. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.
24. Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.
25. If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
26. Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.
RESET STANDARDS TO:
- I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
- I will not go out wit ha man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
- I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
- I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.
- I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
- I will not be wit ha man who's afraid to talk about our future.
- I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
- I will not date a man who is married.
- I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.
Simple!!
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