Electro Insomniac

At night, my body and mind come alive. It's as if I have this electronic dance music pulsing through my veins. My heart races, I get fidgety and can't seem to find enough to occupy my time. If I didn't have four kids sleeping in their beds, I would throw on some running clothes and shoes and just go. I feel like I could effortlessly dance the night away at a club, my body moving naturally to whatever rhythm flows from the DJ. I've been listening to a lot of R&B music lately because it seems to match the bass thumping rhythm of adrenaline coursing through me these days.

Instead, I break out the yoga mat and try to work it out with some serious ashtanga yoga...that means jumping instead of stepping up and back, constant flow, rolling from the floor to a standing position, physically and mentally challenging postures that require strength and focus. Could my heart rate get any higher? I swear some nights it's what I would imagine a cocaine trip would be like. It is as if I have partied out with Rockstar beverages all day long. The worst part is that nothing I can do here at home seems to calm me. I just keep going until I literally drop and force myself to sleep knowing that within 30 to 45 minutes later I will have Griffen bringing me a diaper and wipes from the drawer to be changed. Somehow, I continue to function.

I have tried several things to get my biorhythm on track, but honestly what I need is a BREAK. I have been through a ridiculous amount of stress this last year and have just been going and going and going...completely in survival mode. The boy's dad will be in the states at the end of August and will be here to take over for about a month. I think there is some anxiety over that...not his parenting but just the anxious excitement of being able to get away for more than two days by myself. Is that horrible? I'm not at all worried about the boys, I know they will be fine. I am so ready to get away and take care of just me for awhile. I was thinking of laying on a beach somewhere for a week and then who knows what after that. Mainly whatever I want to because that's the way I will be able to roll...awesome. So yeah, 27 days exactly until I am free and yes, I am counting down.

I guess that is one down side to having an ex-husband halfway across the world. We save on drama and crap because well, he's just not around. But that means far more parenting and constant responsibility on my part, getting a break only when he can manage to come here. I guess we will just cross those bridges as they come. In the meantime, Rihanna and I are going to rock out into the wee hours of the morning, working on our beach figure and cranking out some fantastic knitting!

Cheers!

Brow Knits

The boys are registered for school here in Unicoi County, it was a pretty fun and exciting day yesterday. As I was driving to my mom's in the afternoon, Bergen was reading aloud from his school handbook. He read, "coporal punishment may be administered...mom, what is corporal punishment?" WHAT? Seriously? What decade are we in?

Granted, I know many kids who I personally would love to put over my knee, but the thought of someone else laying hands on my children at their own discretion is not okay, even slightly. If my kids have done something at school that requires punishment, trust me, they will be punished and they know it. I don't know, this really didn't sit well with me. So, I had him read on and found out that we can in fact bring in a hand-written note saying that we refuse corporal punishment, but the trade off is at least one day of out of school suspension. Now my question is, what in the world would your child have to do to receive corporal punishment? There is nothing mentioned anywhere other than it is acceptable in the school and is definitely used. So if they don't finish their homework assignment, are they going to receive out of school suspension for a day because I wouldn't let the principle paddle him? To simply state that they'll spank your kid and not give any examples as to what behavior would constitute something like that is not cool. I tried to find some more information about it online, but only learned that it isn't just Bergen's school, it's all of Unicoi County, which includes the elementary school too. Yes, that knits my brow.

So, I went to my mom's, decompressed with a few cucumber martini's and then we trucked off to Target, Books-A-Million and TJ Maxx (three of my favorite stores) for a little shopping. Griffen came with us while the boys stayed with their Aunt Kilraine and cleaned my car. Awesome. Griffen knows when he has a good thing, hahahaha, check him out at Target!

While at Target for some retail therapy, we found these nail polish strips! I grabbed some for Kilraine and I and we spent the rest of the evening doing our nails :) I love being a girl and I love having sisters. I'm not sure I'd have said that about sisters 20 years ago because Christy and I fought like crazy (she was such a brat), but now, for sure I love my sisters!

I finished the back of my Origin sweater! I am hoping to have the whole thing finished this week. I have been suffering from insomnia lately, so I get a lot of knitting done in the wee hours of the morning :)

What's Your Favorite Position?

Non-knitters might find it odd, but most knitters have a specific position we prefer for knitting. It is probably comparable to how others like to sit while watching television, maybe in their favorite chair or one arm resting on a pillow. For example, I absolutely can not knit in bed unless I am sitting up straight and my legs are crossed "indian" style. I'd prefer to not be knitting in bed hahaha, but hey it is what it is... the real life of even a hot single red-head...

I knit indian style or at least one leg tucked under another in chairs too. Somehow it balances and provides a nice little nook for my yarn or project to rest between my legs and allows for plenty of elbow room. I don't have to worry about pulling on my yarn and the skein falling to the floor. My patterns are usually just to my right so I can tally mark my row counts. When I knit in the car...yes, even when I'm driving I will knit a few stitches at a red light or in traffic, I always tuck one leg under the other.

So I am just curious as to how other knitters prefer to sit and knit? I have a friend who would read and knit at the same time. Seriously now, I pride myself on being able to multitask but that is pretty hardcore! It isn't an issue of having to look at what I am knitting. I am pretty skilled to the point that I can knit by feel alone, but it's the concentration in general. Most other knitters I know prefer to watch television or a movie. I am not a TV watcher, so tonight's Pandora "knit style entertainment" is a kickin' R&B mix of Beyonce, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Mary J Blige, the Pussy Cat Dolls and several other awesome female vocalists. I think there was some Usher in there too with his song "My Boo" hahaha, but it's mostly all female artists. 

Here is a picture of the Clingman's Cardi. It needs sleeves and although in the picture it looks pretty square, it has a very nice shape. It is incredibly thick and warm for some cold mountain nights. But no man I know will be up in my mountains wearing this thing! Sorry fella's, I like you too much. 

And then this is what I am knitting at the moment. It is by the French company Origin and I am knitting with bamboo which is incredibly hard to keep in a nice and neat ball. Fortunately it is slippery so it doesn't knot. I am using Sublime Bamboo and Pearls in the color "lake". It is made of pure bamboo and get this, pearl viscose! Cool. It feels fabulous and knits really easily. Often bamboo is a "splitty" yarn and this has been very smooth so far. I highly recommend it as a potential alternative to cotton...I don't like to knit with cotton, unless it's Blue Sky Alpaca's Organic Cotton.

Okay, so today the last of two of my four boys had their well-checks with Dr. Gill at First Choice Pediatrics. They run a seriously tight and impressive ship over there! Very efficient and thorough, love it.  They are all healthy and fortunately Cashion seems to be actually growing. It is something that we have kept a close eye on for years now. Since he was an toddler, he barely makes the growth chart. He will be 8 in November, but he rarely outgrows his clothes or shoes. Bless him, the only reason he ever gets new clothes or shoes is because his brothers do, hahaha. He still wears a size 5 or maybe a 6 slim in clothes. But today was awesome because even though his height was still in the 2nd percentile, his weight was in the 10th! Hooray! Poor guy, Griffen has never had a single jab in his life, so he received four shots today and will have three more on Tuesday :( He held up pretty well though and was happy to have a lolly and some Chick-fil-A afterwards. 

I officially have all we need to get the boys into school, so I will take them in the morning to register and figure out what to expect for Thursday! Man, I can't believe it is time for them to start school already. It's for the best though. They are bored and need structure and fun to go with the discipline I am so skilled at handing out!

And finally, I figured I would show a shot of "The Burrow" where all of this awesomeness happens :) Ross's aunt was here visiting last weekend and she asked me what was with the sequined towels in the bathroom. Yes, I have silver sequined towels in my bathroom. My response: "because I am single, I am a girl in the midst of four boys and sequins often remind me of that and most of all because I can!" I will slowly show more shots from the Burrow later, but this is part of our livingroom / master bedroom. 

I will leave you with an interesting fact and quote that seemed suitable for my particular life situation. Before the author Franz Kafka died, he had started a short story called "The Burrow." It is about a mole-like creature burrowing through an elaborate system of tunnels it has created over the course of it's life. It meets with a beast, and the story is never finished. But a translated quote from it reads:

"Lying in my heap of Earth I can naturally dream of all sorts of things, even of an understanding with the beast, though I know well enough that no such thing can happen, and at the moment when we see each other, more, at the instant we merely guess at each other's presence, we shall both blindly bare our claws and teeth, neither of us a second before or after the other, both of us filled with a new and different hunger, even if we should already be gorged to bursting."

"But all remained unchanged."

Clingman's Cardi

For those of you who used to follow me as The Global Nomad, that chapter is over. With the start of a new life, just me and my boys, we are diving in with no intentions of looking back over our shoulder. As a "yay me!" I have been training for a 10 mile run in DC for this October. It is a fundraising run for the Army. If you would like to contribute to help me celebrate my divorce (yes, I said celebrate!!!) and to support me in general (and our troops!!), you can donate on my Army Homefront Fundraising page. Any amount is welcome!

Sometime back in January, before my ex became known as such, I began knitting the Mr. Darcy Sweater on Knitty. Looking at it reminds me of a hike that the boys and I took to Clingman's Dome back in April. It was cold, dark, desolate, steep, and and yet breathtakingly lovely.

 Now I am faced with the dilemma of finishing the sleeves and selling it for a pretty penny, or just taking the whole thing and burning it (my mother's suggestion!?)  I could potentially repurpose the yarn, but do I really want to? I am knitting it in a steel gray, bulky, Shetland wool. So like everything I knit, it is a wonderful texture to wrap your hands around. But will it continue to hold bad feelings for me if I rip the whole thing out and make something new?

So what is the general opinion here? It truly no longer holds any sentimental value. It's not even fun to knit anymore that is how unsentimental it is to me. But, it is 3/4 finished! If I worked diligently, and if my dog Katie doesn't chew the replacement needles, it could be finished over the weekend at the latest. But, is it a matter of principle? Are some things just not meant to be completed? I mean, it was being knit in tandem with the foreboding signs of divorce then the dog chewed the needles, I had to rip out the sleeve I'd already halfway completed...I don't even know.