Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

My life...sorry, I mean my laptop was stolen from my car back before Christmas. I have felt stark naked without a computer and the inability to blog, but thank God for my iPhone or I might have truly gone insane. Once you go mac...well ya know. But, with a sad break-up (more on that in a few) he got the wrought iron bed I bought us and I got his computer. So, I guess we're even. Aaaand, back to blogging! Yay me!

Let's see, where to start. Well I guess the juiciest bit is always the most enticing and then maybe you'll keep reading to the end. But either way, it's the freshest too so we'll start there. Yep, I had a man, a good man. Well, not good enough for me apparently, but he was still good. Why do men go bad? Really. I mean, they seem to start off strong, all trustworthy and wonderful and then it's as if they get bored...or just lazy. I assure you I am far from boring. So my only assumption is that I was too fun for him or his true laziness began to shine and he got too comfy and secure. Just because I'm here and things are going great, doesn't mean I'm going to stay if you take me for granted ;) Been there done that for thirteen years and there is no way in Hell I will ever do that crap again. Ha, I am just thinking of this Pinterest post:

It wasn't like that though. In all seriousness I can't possibly pretend to know where things went wrong. But I am shamefully admitting that I should have seen it coming when he needed a "break and some time to think" a few weeks ago and well, we women hate to admit when something we want isn't working out, especially me. So it ended with him breaking up with me. Fine. Except his words were, "maybe we should call it quits for awhile." Ummmm, baby, there is no "awhile" here. It's called a break-up for a reason. If you can look into this beautiful face, and take full stock of all that I am (not just a beautiful face) and of my children and all we are together and still tell me that you are no longer in need of my company...there is only my foot on your ass out the door. Now that is definitely one lesson I have learned well. When I finally see that I am not being loved and treated in the way I deserve, I have no problem walking away. He never really said honestly what the issue was, only the typical lame excuses most men use..."it's not you, it's me. I don't know what I want. blah, blah, blah, blah..." I'm hearing Charlie Brown's teacher right now and all that matters is that he has just proven himself unreliable and insecure, which sadly means I'm done.


I will not pretend this hasn't hurt. But being a single mom to four boys and pretty much their only parent, I don't exactly have the luxury of drinking myself into a sleeping coma with tear smeared make-up all over my face and pillow, waking up looking like a murdered back alley hooker, moping about and being hurt and miserable. I did what I have always done when I've been screwed over by a man ...I find myself again. I strengthen my spin and resolve to never ever settle, then pat myself on the back for not settling. After that, I put on a sexy thong, and shave my legs while I carry on with my head held high.

Oh, and this goes up on my refrigerator:

It works!

Eventually, I don't have to remind myself to do these things anymore and I sparkle again. I've bounced back from this surprisingly well. I took this past weekend and hit downtown Asheville. I pampered myself with good food, lots of good wine, shopping, a nail salon, met some interesting people and went bar hopping with them and enjoyed some incredible musical talent. I recognized the need to be alone and responsible for only me for a few days and made it happen. Incredible.So I' m good. I still have pangs of a loss every now and then and think "what if". Then I shake myself from the "what if" emotional trap and instead say "oh well."

I have a plan, a purpose these days and it will happen with or without any man in my life. The next chapter of my life is taking me back to school. Having been accepted into the Pre-Med program at ETSU, I am determined to make it. Hopefully in six years time there will be an M.D. behind yet another Pinyard :)

And finally, I stumbled across a fantastic group in Asheville on the street called Lyric. I bough their CD for $10 and it was worth it. Check them out!