Roll With It Baby

There is an Ani DiFranco song I have been mentally humming all evening:  "Roll with it baby, make it your career..." and today has definitely made me pretty cool with my abilities of doing just that. Sometimes I feel like that is all I can do, just go with the flow.

We started our day really well, the boys are enjoying school and are adjusting to rules and regulations,  structure, they are socializing and really having a good time so far. Perrin asked me today if I could buy them some more "cool" foods for their lunches. We always do "highs and lows" of the day and his low was that for some reason his friends just weren't interested in trading sugar snap peas and hummus for their fruit snacks. He cracks me up. Then Bergen piped up that they probably shouldn't be trading food anyway because "you have no idea where that kid has been..." Nice.

I was having a problem with the afternoon pick-up because the schools all end at the same time and Bergen is in a different school from Perrin and Cashion. It's about a 10 to 15 minute drive between schools and yesterday, poor Perrin and Cashion were the only kids left standing outside waiting on me. I arranged for Bergen to take a bus to the elementary school today and that worked well. But it arrived pretty late so I am thinking that I will just put them ALL on a bus home...period. It will definitely make things easier for me and save on some serious gas mileage.

Okay, so rolling with it tonight: I of course had my knitting on me today, like all days, and while I was waiting on the boys to get out of school, I pulled it out. Much to my complete horror, one of my needles had been broken. I will state right now that that does not happen on it's own :) Needle-less to say (haha, sorry that was bad, I know) we have had a bit of an inquisition here tonight. No one seems to know what happened, go figure.  Cashion actually tried to blame the dog. Right, because Katie has opposable thumbs that can snap bamboo like a pencil. The result? They are all grounded for the rest of the week until the offender comes clean: no tv, no computer, no DS...just chores and "complete and utter boredom" according to them...perfect.

As for my knitting, I will have to scrounge around to see if I have anymore in the right size needles, if not, I guess I am headed to the crappy yarn shop in town to replace them tomorrow.

Simplicity Is Always Best

I learned years ago that to keep things in it's most simple, pure form was always the best. It keeps us honest and straight and well, there just isn't much room for drama or irrational thoughts in the life of this hot, single mom. So although I have been living by that rule for a long time there are always instances where I find myself straying away from the least complicated path. Every time I sort of take myself aside and say, "Kelly, come on, relax, why are you making this complicated?" Eventually I find my way back to the middle, and fortunately it doesn't take too long.

So, for the first simple decision...the bad Karma, ex cardigan...that sucker is getting burned! Yep, I am waiting on the first chilly night and it's going into the woodstove. Done. I'm not repurposing the yarn, or having it sitting around waiting for me to finish when I know that I have absolutely zero desire to do so. I am moving on to something else.

Secondly, this is why I always knit with pure fibers. It's simple, natural and you just can't go wrong with 100%. Off point, but hey, this is primarily intended to be a knitting blog.

Next is my personal life. I am jumping into the dating scene. Yes, that's right, I'm dating and it has been awesome. Funny enough, my boys are cool with it and somehow come up with the most odd questions. I think I posted on Facebook one question Perrin had asked me. He said, "Mom, if you find out that a boyfriend is keeping something from you, will you break up with him?" I asked, "like what Perrin?" "Oh you know" he said, "like you found out he was a hobo or something..." What tha?

Upon entering the dating scene, my mom and sister both recommended I read: "He's Just Not That Into You." If you are a single lady or know a single one, you have to read this book or pass it on. Talk about keeping dating simple! It's awesome. So it was written by Greg Behrendt, one of the writers for Sex In The City. He tells you straight up what to do in specific situations with guys that normally, most women would be freaking out over or making excuses and false realities about. He is basically telling us that we are far more valuable than we give ourselves credit for and that we should never settle. And if any of the following happens to you, he's just not that into you! So here are some of my favorite excerpts and again, if you're a single female, it is worth the read:

When a guy is into you, he let's you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you, and when it's time to have sex, he's more than overjoyed to oblige. I don't care if he's startting his new job as the president of the United States the next morning at 0400. He's coming up!


Men are not complicated, although we'd like you to think we are, as in "Things are really crazy right now. I've just got a ton of shit going on." We are driven by sex, although we'd like to pretend otherwise: "What? no, I was totally listening." And sadly (and most embarassingly), we would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, "You're not the one."


If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will, or making sure you know that he's dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him, his action are screaming truth: He's just not that into you.


If we want you, we will find you. If you don't think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.


Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you.


Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit...We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.


Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?


Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.


I'm about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: The word "busy" is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction.


Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.


Men, just like women, want to feel emotionally protected when a relationship starts to become serious. One way they do that is by laying claim to it. They actually want to say "I'm your boyfriend" or "I'd like to be your boyfriend" or "If you ever break up with that other guy who's not your boyfriend, I'd like to be your boyfriend." A man who's really into you is going to want you all to himself. And why wouldn't he, hot stuff?


In my book, a guy who can wait two weeks to see you, is just not that into you.


I'm a dude. If I like you, I kiss you. And then I think about what you look like in and out of your underwear. I'm a guy. that's how it works. No ifs, no ands, and clearly no buts.


If a guy is happy lying around in bed with you eating cookies and watching old movies and he's not gay, then he's just not that into you. 


On break-ups: A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person. If he's not trying to romance your socks off with dates, flowers, and poetry, it should only be because he's too engrossed with his couples counseling workbooks and is prioritizing getting back on the right track.


Does he make it clear in his actions every day that your happiness is important to him? If the answer is no, cut him loose and go find a man with a higher "good count."


When two people are connecting, they hunger for information about each other, a sliver of what life is like when you're not together, a glimpse into their past, a peek into their mind, all in hopes of getting under their skin.


HIGHLIGHTS:

1. If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind.

2. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. (And here is the real kicker...pay attention) Be aware of this and realize that he is okay with disappointing you.

3. "Busy" is another word for "asshole." "Asshole" is another word for the guy you are dating.

4. Better than nothing is not good enough for you.

5. Your lost self-esteem may take longer to find than a new boyfriend, so prioritize accordingly.

6. There is no excuse for cheating. Let me say it again. There is no excuse for cheating. Now you say it. There is no excuse for cheating.

7. Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck!)

8. A cheater only cheats himself, because he doesn't get to be with you.


9. If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you etc. when he is inebriated, it ain't love - it's sport.

10. Bad boys are actually bad.

11. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to get loaded to be around you.

12. Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.

13. Re: breakups. Cut him off. Let him miss you.

14. There's a guy out there who is going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

15. Re: sudden disappearances of said boyfriend or date... He might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he's just not that into you. No answer is your answer. Don't give him the chance to reject you again. Let his mother yell at him, you're too busy, and there's no mystery, he's gone and he wasn't good enough for you.

16. If the person you "love" (notice the snotty quotation marks around that) cannot freely spend his days thinking about you and being with you, it's not real love.

17. You are not easily forgettable. Let him find you when he's ready.

18. Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

19. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them too.)

20. There is never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger.

21. Freaks should remain in the circus, not in your apartment.

22. You already have one asshole, you don't need another.

23. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.

24. Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

25. If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

26. Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

RESET STANDARDS TO:


- I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.

- I will not go out wit ha man who keeps me waiting by the phone.

- I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.

- I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.

- I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.

- I will not be wit ha man who's afraid to talk about our future.

- I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.

- I will not date a man who is married.

- I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.





Simple!!

Electro Insomniac

At night, my body and mind come alive. It's as if I have this electronic dance music pulsing through my veins. My heart races, I get fidgety and can't seem to find enough to occupy my time. If I didn't have four kids sleeping in their beds, I would throw on some running clothes and shoes and just go. I feel like I could effortlessly dance the night away at a club, my body moving naturally to whatever rhythm flows from the DJ. I've been listening to a lot of R&B music lately because it seems to match the bass thumping rhythm of adrenaline coursing through me these days.

Instead, I break out the yoga mat and try to work it out with some serious ashtanga yoga...that means jumping instead of stepping up and back, constant flow, rolling from the floor to a standing position, physically and mentally challenging postures that require strength and focus. Could my heart rate get any higher? I swear some nights it's what I would imagine a cocaine trip would be like. It is as if I have partied out with Rockstar beverages all day long. The worst part is that nothing I can do here at home seems to calm me. I just keep going until I literally drop and force myself to sleep knowing that within 30 to 45 minutes later I will have Griffen bringing me a diaper and wipes from the drawer to be changed. Somehow, I continue to function.

I have tried several things to get my biorhythm on track, but honestly what I need is a BREAK. I have been through a ridiculous amount of stress this last year and have just been going and going and going...completely in survival mode. The boy's dad will be in the states at the end of August and will be here to take over for about a month. I think there is some anxiety over that...not his parenting but just the anxious excitement of being able to get away for more than two days by myself. Is that horrible? I'm not at all worried about the boys, I know they will be fine. I am so ready to get away and take care of just me for awhile. I was thinking of laying on a beach somewhere for a week and then who knows what after that. Mainly whatever I want to because that's the way I will be able to roll...awesome. So yeah, 27 days exactly until I am free and yes, I am counting down.

I guess that is one down side to having an ex-husband halfway across the world. We save on drama and crap because well, he's just not around. But that means far more parenting and constant responsibility on my part, getting a break only when he can manage to come here. I guess we will just cross those bridges as they come. In the meantime, Rihanna and I are going to rock out into the wee hours of the morning, working on our beach figure and cranking out some fantastic knitting!

Cheers!

Brow Knits

The boys are registered for school here in Unicoi County, it was a pretty fun and exciting day yesterday. As I was driving to my mom's in the afternoon, Bergen was reading aloud from his school handbook. He read, "coporal punishment may be administered...mom, what is corporal punishment?" WHAT? Seriously? What decade are we in?

Granted, I know many kids who I personally would love to put over my knee, but the thought of someone else laying hands on my children at their own discretion is not okay, even slightly. If my kids have done something at school that requires punishment, trust me, they will be punished and they know it. I don't know, this really didn't sit well with me. So, I had him read on and found out that we can in fact bring in a hand-written note saying that we refuse corporal punishment, but the trade off is at least one day of out of school suspension. Now my question is, what in the world would your child have to do to receive corporal punishment? There is nothing mentioned anywhere other than it is acceptable in the school and is definitely used. So if they don't finish their homework assignment, are they going to receive out of school suspension for a day because I wouldn't let the principle paddle him? To simply state that they'll spank your kid and not give any examples as to what behavior would constitute something like that is not cool. I tried to find some more information about it online, but only learned that it isn't just Bergen's school, it's all of Unicoi County, which includes the elementary school too. Yes, that knits my brow.

So, I went to my mom's, decompressed with a few cucumber martini's and then we trucked off to Target, Books-A-Million and TJ Maxx (three of my favorite stores) for a little shopping. Griffen came with us while the boys stayed with their Aunt Kilraine and cleaned my car. Awesome. Griffen knows when he has a good thing, hahahaha, check him out at Target!

While at Target for some retail therapy, we found these nail polish strips! I grabbed some for Kilraine and I and we spent the rest of the evening doing our nails :) I love being a girl and I love having sisters. I'm not sure I'd have said that about sisters 20 years ago because Christy and I fought like crazy (she was such a brat), but now, for sure I love my sisters!

I finished the back of my Origin sweater! I am hoping to have the whole thing finished this week. I have been suffering from insomnia lately, so I get a lot of knitting done in the wee hours of the morning :)

What's Your Favorite Position?

Non-knitters might find it odd, but most knitters have a specific position we prefer for knitting. It is probably comparable to how others like to sit while watching television, maybe in their favorite chair or one arm resting on a pillow. For example, I absolutely can not knit in bed unless I am sitting up straight and my legs are crossed "indian" style. I'd prefer to not be knitting in bed hahaha, but hey it is what it is... the real life of even a hot single red-head...

I knit indian style or at least one leg tucked under another in chairs too. Somehow it balances and provides a nice little nook for my yarn or project to rest between my legs and allows for plenty of elbow room. I don't have to worry about pulling on my yarn and the skein falling to the floor. My patterns are usually just to my right so I can tally mark my row counts. When I knit in the car...yes, even when I'm driving I will knit a few stitches at a red light or in traffic, I always tuck one leg under the other.

So I am just curious as to how other knitters prefer to sit and knit? I have a friend who would read and knit at the same time. Seriously now, I pride myself on being able to multitask but that is pretty hardcore! It isn't an issue of having to look at what I am knitting. I am pretty skilled to the point that I can knit by feel alone, but it's the concentration in general. Most other knitters I know prefer to watch television or a movie. I am not a TV watcher, so tonight's Pandora "knit style entertainment" is a kickin' R&B mix of Beyonce, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Mary J Blige, the Pussy Cat Dolls and several other awesome female vocalists. I think there was some Usher in there too with his song "My Boo" hahaha, but it's mostly all female artists. 

Here is a picture of the Clingman's Cardi. It needs sleeves and although in the picture it looks pretty square, it has a very nice shape. It is incredibly thick and warm for some cold mountain nights. But no man I know will be up in my mountains wearing this thing! Sorry fella's, I like you too much. 

And then this is what I am knitting at the moment. It is by the French company Origin and I am knitting with bamboo which is incredibly hard to keep in a nice and neat ball. Fortunately it is slippery so it doesn't knot. I am using Sublime Bamboo and Pearls in the color "lake". It is made of pure bamboo and get this, pearl viscose! Cool. It feels fabulous and knits really easily. Often bamboo is a "splitty" yarn and this has been very smooth so far. I highly recommend it as a potential alternative to cotton...I don't like to knit with cotton, unless it's Blue Sky Alpaca's Organic Cotton.

Okay, so today the last of two of my four boys had their well-checks with Dr. Gill at First Choice Pediatrics. They run a seriously tight and impressive ship over there! Very efficient and thorough, love it.  They are all healthy and fortunately Cashion seems to be actually growing. It is something that we have kept a close eye on for years now. Since he was an toddler, he barely makes the growth chart. He will be 8 in November, but he rarely outgrows his clothes or shoes. Bless him, the only reason he ever gets new clothes or shoes is because his brothers do, hahaha. He still wears a size 5 or maybe a 6 slim in clothes. But today was awesome because even though his height was still in the 2nd percentile, his weight was in the 10th! Hooray! Poor guy, Griffen has never had a single jab in his life, so he received four shots today and will have three more on Tuesday :( He held up pretty well though and was happy to have a lolly and some Chick-fil-A afterwards. 

I officially have all we need to get the boys into school, so I will take them in the morning to register and figure out what to expect for Thursday! Man, I can't believe it is time for them to start school already. It's for the best though. They are bored and need structure and fun to go with the discipline I am so skilled at handing out!

And finally, I figured I would show a shot of "The Burrow" where all of this awesomeness happens :) Ross's aunt was here visiting last weekend and she asked me what was with the sequined towels in the bathroom. Yes, I have silver sequined towels in my bathroom. My response: "because I am single, I am a girl in the midst of four boys and sequins often remind me of that and most of all because I can!" I will slowly show more shots from the Burrow later, but this is part of our livingroom / master bedroom. 

I will leave you with an interesting fact and quote that seemed suitable for my particular life situation. Before the author Franz Kafka died, he had started a short story called "The Burrow." It is about a mole-like creature burrowing through an elaborate system of tunnels it has created over the course of it's life. It meets with a beast, and the story is never finished. But a translated quote from it reads:

"Lying in my heap of Earth I can naturally dream of all sorts of things, even of an understanding with the beast, though I know well enough that no such thing can happen, and at the moment when we see each other, more, at the instant we merely guess at each other's presence, we shall both blindly bare our claws and teeth, neither of us a second before or after the other, both of us filled with a new and different hunger, even if we should already be gorged to bursting."

"But all remained unchanged."

Clingman's Cardi

For those of you who used to follow me as The Global Nomad, that chapter is over. With the start of a new life, just me and my boys, we are diving in with no intentions of looking back over our shoulder. As a "yay me!" I have been training for a 10 mile run in DC for this October. It is a fundraising run for the Army. If you would like to contribute to help me celebrate my divorce (yes, I said celebrate!!!) and to support me in general (and our troops!!), you can donate on my Army Homefront Fundraising page. Any amount is welcome!

Sometime back in January, before my ex became known as such, I began knitting the Mr. Darcy Sweater on Knitty. Looking at it reminds me of a hike that the boys and I took to Clingman's Dome back in April. It was cold, dark, desolate, steep, and and yet breathtakingly lovely.

 Now I am faced with the dilemma of finishing the sleeves and selling it for a pretty penny, or just taking the whole thing and burning it (my mother's suggestion!?)  I could potentially repurpose the yarn, but do I really want to? I am knitting it in a steel gray, bulky, Shetland wool. So like everything I knit, it is a wonderful texture to wrap your hands around. But will it continue to hold bad feelings for me if I rip the whole thing out and make something new?

So what is the general opinion here? It truly no longer holds any sentimental value. It's not even fun to knit anymore that is how unsentimental it is to me. But, it is 3/4 finished! If I worked diligently, and if my dog Katie doesn't chew the replacement needles, it could be finished over the weekend at the latest. But, is it a matter of principle? Are some things just not meant to be completed? I mean, it was being knit in tandem with the foreboding signs of divorce then the dog chewed the needles, I had to rip out the sleeve I'd already halfway completed...I don't even know.